Shadows of a troubled heart
by bigboi212
Summary: One mans desire for his loved one
1. Chapter 1

Shinji woke up in a panic in his room, he woke up with his shirt drenched in his sweat of anticipation. He woke up befuddled to the world he once knew. Everything seem dead to him, he had nothing to live for; but he knew that if he was to die now, how was he ever going to know the positive side in life. He remembered when that seem possible to him when he was full of hope and aspiration, he also remembered the time he use to live with Misato and Asuka, at that point Shinji saw the world as a Ugly yet Beautiful place to live in yet, he seemed to feel isolated and out of place during that time. He felt like something was missing but he couldn't figure out what was happening. Its been 5 years since the incident with third impact and he thought everything was going to change for the best after all he save humanity.

But he was wrong it did changed for the best, everybody that was dead came back and his mother as well. Then he remember the day that all hell broke loose, his entire life seemed to just warped and he seemed to blackout. "52days, 22 hrs, 50minutes and 22 seconds" Shinji mumbled out. He remembered that day as it was clear as day; "today's the day, the day that I'll confess my feelings for her, to the women that teased me and out shun me everyday I lived with her" Shinji said. As Shinji walk to the building he started to get butterflies in his stomach, he was nervous as fuck but he knew that if he back down now that he will not stand a chance in the future. As he took the elevator and it stop on his floor he started to receive even more anxiety for each step closer he was to the residence. When he open the door he heard moaning and it seem to be familiar but he couldn't registered who.

As Shinji got half through the hallway he heard moaning that seem to come from 2 different part of the house, Shinji being curious of who was making the noise he went to the closest door and slightly opening making sure that he didn't make any noise when he was peeking in. When he opened the door he saw his guardian being fucked violently by her new boyfriend Charley Matsusaki. "AHHH! Oh my god Charles Faster, faster, oh yeah right there, damn you are big Charles'' Misato said. Charles 7inched dick seem to pleasure Misato in ways that Kaji can never repeat. Each second Charles dick entered Misato's soak and wet pussy she would clench her pussy on his dick and vice grip it to the point where he couldn't pull it out. Every second that shinji spent watching this only seemed to add to his intense sadness.

At that very moment Shinji's heart was torn to bits because every since the 1st day they met Shinji always had a crush on Misato, and now it seem his hopes were crushed leaving him devastated and traumatized. Being cautious and trying not to get caught peeking he closed the door slowly and quietly. Back in the hallway he heard another moan and it seem to come from the back. This moan seem to be the moan from a much young presences, as Shinji walked to the door at the end of the hall, for some reason his heart seem to start pounding hard and out of chest. "what's this feeling I'm getting, I'm getting a feeling that something bad is going to happened." Shinji said pondering and praying. As Shinji opened the door he saw something that he would never see in his entire life never in a million years. "Ohhh Brady baby pound that big as dick into my tight ass." Asuka said. "Oh yeah your getting this dick bitch." Brady said. Brady's dick seem to enter and exit Asuka's ass with ease , and it seem that Asuka was cumin out her wet pussy violently. Every moment that shinji spent watching this a part of him seem to break away, withered and die on the spot. At this moment all he wanted to was to die right here on the spot, he knew that everything he hope to obtain was gone, the chance to end up with Asuka was gone, now he knew what he had to do.

Shinji went to his room brought out his big suitcase and packed everything he had. As he went to the door to leave, he turned around "Goodbye" he said with a tint of sadness in his voice. _I just want to know why this had to happened to me, why, why during the time when I built enough courage to go and confess my feelings. _


	2. Chapter 2

BEEP BEEP BEEP! The sound of the alarm clock seemed to ring. "Damn its 8'o'clock already, oh well time for work". This fucking dream keeps coming and it seems that no matter how much I try to forget about it, it seems to come back and haunt me. Ever since that day I have been providing for myself and it seems to be coming out well. In a matter up about 2 months I was able to buy this amazing condo with this amazing view of Tokyo-3. 15minutes later. 'Oh shit I'm going to be late if I don 't leave.'. As I walked down the block I bumped into 2 ladies 1 seem to have bright colored hair looks red to me and the other seemed to have a enormous chest I didn't get a chance to see their faces, but then again I don't care anyway. " Sorry ladies I didn't see you there…(Oh shit I hope they are not who I think they are)" "no its our fault…(the red-haired lady seem to squint her eyes as if she was investigating and observing me ) Hey do I know you from somewhere?" the red haired woman said. I prayed to god that they don't find out who I truly am, after all the trouble and the struggle I been through to get to the point I am today. No I believe that we have not met before. I said lying to them .

Oh, I'm sorry to trouble u mister they said to me. No I am sorry to have run into you ladies. Nice meeting you I told them, you too they replied as they went pass me. As I walk and there was about 25ft distance between us I was relieved that Asuka and Misato didn't know who I truly was, if they was to find out then there would be a lot of controversy. Umm…… Misato. Asuka said. Yes. Misato said. I get this feeling that I know that person from somewhere but I don't know where. Asuka said. Me too Asuka, but where? Misato said. Oh no don't tell me it's that Baka. Asuka said. How do you even know if that really was shinji? Misato said. Well when I was talking to the guy there some type of aura around this person that seems oddly familiar to those of Shinji. Before they got a chance to speak to me I was gone in a flash, nowhere to be found. Nothing but foot prints in the snow.

From this point on the day went pass me at the speed of sound. Its was 6:00pm and I didn't feel like eating so I just wash up in my bathroom and went to bed reminiscing what had occurred earlier this day. Now it was time for the worst time of the day, sleep now for a long cold sweat sleep, the sleep of the eternally injured…..the sleep of the abyss, the shadow of reality.

As I woke up from the sleep, It felt like my body was drained like there was nothing left, thing god today was Saturday so I don't have to work. Oh yeah I forgot, I forgot about yesterday, they are probably going to look for me now, it seems that Asuka and Misato seems to suspicious of who I am, so when I leave I must be cautious and not run up on them. As I walked out my door and locked the door and I left the building there was this bright neon light on what it seem to be a convenient store and when I went to the store I saw a Yeisbu beer can in the refrigerator whole bunch of them. I remember those days when I use to stay at that house. I remember the time when everyday I would wake up and see Misato open a fresh can of Yeisbu beer. But now I can only reminiscence about those days I can never go back there, I can never go back to the place where it all began, the place that has left me nothing but pain and stress in my heart and it seems that every time I think about it a part of me dies inside. As I walked away from the store and head for the arcade,

I felt the urged to cry hard hoping and wishing that things didn't turn out the way it did , but bite my bottom lip and held the urge to cry inside. When I went inside the arcade, it was empty nobody but the employees were there, then I remember that today was valentine's day and everybody was buying flowers and candy for there love ones, I went to the Pac-man stall and insert my coin and started to play. Playing video games of all sort has been a way for me throughout these years to relieve all stressful tension. As I walk out of the arcade I accidentally bumped into a lady and her husband and what it seems to be a child maybe a baby in what it seems to be a stroller. Just as I was about to apologize to the lady her husband seem to lash out at me. "watch the fuck where u walking at u fucking asshole" the muscular man said. "my fucking bad u fucking asshole, u need to calm your fucking nerves dick-wad, you fucking yelled at me before I got the chance to fucking apologize, god damn". I said angrily. Just as I was about to leave I heard I of the 2 individuals said "Oh my god.. Is that you Shinji?" apparently coming from the female. "Hikari?…..Touji?….. Is that u?" I said pondering. "Shinji, is that you, long time no see buddy." Appare]ntly coming from Touji. "so buddy what have you been up to all these years?" Touji said. "nothing really, I work for a game designing business and I produce my own music for the game soundtrack and now I also own and live in the Xavier lee condos a few blocks down." So what have you two been up to all these years?" "well I play basketball and currently am a coach for college basketball and little league baseball." Touji said. " I am a professional chief and I have my own restaurant at 1240w and concourse."

"So what happened to you after that Friday I didn't see you for while what happened?" Touji said. "well all I am going to say is that I experience something that I never thought would happened to me" I said. " so it was nice seeing you again Shinji" Touji and Hikari said simultaneously. "Alright nice seeing you 2 as well, goodbye". I said. "Bye" they both said. 1 week later……. And 5 blocks away at the Hokai residences

"………….yeah I know but what was he going to do he was force to kill him." Asuka said.

" oh yeah Asuka guess who I ran into the other day?" Hikari said. "who" Asuka replied

"shinji'' Hikari replied. "where did u see him at ?" Asuka replied " I saw him at the arcade at the corner of 5th and Anderson." Hikari said. " also he told me that all this time he has been doing good and he said that he owns and lives in the Xavier lee condos on 1180w between 5th and Jackson Ave." Hikari said "oh really?" Asuka said. "Alright, nice talking to u again, also when are you going to bring down the twins?" Asuka said. "next time I come down" Hikari replied. "Alright nice talking to you and see u soon" Asuka said. " you too, bye" Hikari said. "Bye" Asuka replied back.

"Asuka who was that on the phone?'' Misato replied. "it was Hikari and we were just catching up with the times, she also gave me a very important and interesting information on a certain person." Asuka replied. "She told me that shinji now lives in the Xavier lee condos at 1180w between 5th and Jackson Ave." oh really, we should pay a visit to shinji tomorrow." Misato suggested. " how about now? I am interested in how his condo is?" Asuka said anxiously waiting.

2 ½ hours later at the Xavier lee condo suite.

Man it has been good to catch up with old friends, what time is it, let me see its 7:00o'clock now, which means that Scrubs should be on right about now. DING DONG! Who could be at my door at this time of the day. When I opened up my door my heart start beating uncontrollably because I was staring into the eyes of Misato and Asuka. _OH SHIT._


	3. Chapter 3

How may I help you ladies? "Shinji don't play stupid with me we got to talk" Asuka said. Who is this Shinji u talk about? "The charades is over Shinji, Asuka got a called from Hikari telling her where u live and everything" Misato said. What do you want. "We need to talk Shinji, what happened to you we didn't see you for a few months and haven't talk or contacted anyone on your whereabouts" All I am going to say is that the things I saw torn me in half and every time I remember, my heart and head hurts. "What happened?" Asuka said.

Well one day when I came home I heard what appears to be moaning so I checked it out and I found out about both of ya'll little thing ya'll was having in the rooms, at first I was hurt but as time progress a part of me started to die each second I was watching, and u must take in to consideration that I had feelings for both of you since the days I met both of you and you must understand that if you have feelings for someone and you find out that they were sleeping with another person the intense pain and sadness that come with that title. "Whoa I didn't know that you have these intense feelings for me" Misato said. I seem like it was too late for me to confess my feelings so I just left because I knew that if I attempt to confess, it will just be a waste of time. Now if you need me ill just be on the balcony.

"Wow Misato he caught me of guard, I never would've guess that he had feelings for me, I also thought he would have strong intense mutual feelings for Wondergirl" Asuka said As I look over the horizon I saw that the sun was setting and I never looked so beautiful. As I was looking at the sunset and Reminiscence about what happened I heard someone come towards me from behind and my body started to tense up. As I turned around it was none other then Asuka. What do you want? " I just want to say that I am sorry about how I treated you over the years, but u must understand that when I found out that my mother hung herself it tore me and ever since that day I swore not to depend on anyone and not get close to anyone." Asuka said. So you go and fuck some other guy for fucking comfort, do u know how much pain u put me through, I love you and it hurt me to the point in which I wanted to just kill myself. "I'm so sorry shinji I didn't know , I just react out of pain and once again I am so sorry." Asuka said. ……… "shinji" …………. "shinji" ………

I just left without saying a word to either Misato or Asuka. I need some advice and I know just exactly the person I can talk to. As I arrive to the church I was desperate for an answers to this chaos. As I went to the confession booth Father Charles seemed to be waiting for me. Father I have a dilemma on my hands and I don't know what to do. " what's the problem my son" Charles said. Well I have feelings for these 2 beautiful women, but when I got home and try to confess my feelings I found out that they were sleeping with some other men and it tore me up inside and I wanted to die because I felt dead inside and now I don't know what to do. " Do you still have feelings for them?" Charles said.

Yes I do and to top it off they visit my condo just now and I've told them how I felt. And 1 of them came told me that she was sorry that she hurt me and she only reacted that way because she said that she didn't know what to do. "From where I stand It sounds like your getting a second chance with this women and it is best you confess now before it is too late" Charles said. Your right father, need to go confess, thanks for the advice and I hope all your wishes are granted. See you late. As I walk home and took the elevator as I went inside my home I assume that misato and Asuka would be waiting for me in the living room but I was wrong it seems that they had left so I decided to go take a shower. As I went inside the bathroom I was unaware that the shower was on but I just went in and when I entered the shower I saw Asuka naked and she saw me naked and for a moment there was silence. But then I open my mouth and confessed my feelings. Asuka I still love you and it would be my honor for you to move in with me and rebuild our lives together, what do you say? " I'll accept and I will always be yours and your only" Asuka said.

The distance between me Asuka began to decrease to the point where we was face to face with each other. Then we kiss our tongues battle each other for the territory in the other's mouth, my hand then gently and softly caressed her c cup breast while my right hand went down and started to message her pussy. I raised my right hand and started to rub her clitoris and heard her moaning and panting loud. She took her right hand and grab my dick and started stroking it. I then slowly inserting my dick into her pussy in and out she must be extremely happy because her pussy was soak and wet and was leaking her pussy juice all over my dick. The pace started to pick up her pussy kept beating against my dick and the eternal pleasure that seemed to surround my dick seemed endless. "Shinji…….Damn…….your….. So big….." Each second my insert her soak and wet pussy.

We were seconds from climaxing together, 5..4..3...2..1. "right there shinji you are hitting all my hot spots". Asuka said. I can tell she was about to lose it because she started breathing heavily and faster. Oh my god AHHHHHHHHH! "Oh MY GOD, SHINJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Asuka said. And now what seems to be a eternal bliss ended, right thing I knew what I had to do, I had to marry her, she is the one I want to spend my life with, the one I would want to be with forever. As we stand there looking deep into each others eyes, I said something that makes all girls jump for joy, Will you marry me Asuka? Asuka eyes widen and the biggest smile you'll ever see in your life. " Yes Shinji , yes I would be your wife" Asuka.

That part of my life was crazy its been 3 years since the wedding and I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember all the little details about it, my moms, pops all the staff of nerve, Rei, Touji, Hikari, Kensuke Mana, Kaworu, Asuka's parents they were all there and I never felt so happy in my life. Me and Asuka were both bless with twins, 1girl and 1 boy, their names are Teri-Soryu-Langley and shinji-soryu-Langley. And we live happily ever after my my nice condo. Oh yea if your wondering what happened to that brady guy, well let's say he's 6ft under and (justice for me at least) is served, it turns out he goes around messing with other attractive women with no thoughts of staying with them. **Word from the wise:**

"Those who seek comfort joy and happiness must seek out of the heart the darkness and pain as well of ones eternal soul"

- Xavier lee


End file.
